Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
