do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
