Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
