you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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