We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize