I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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