I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
