please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
