I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
