I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
