Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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