At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
