A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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