so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
