Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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