If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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