Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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