Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
