last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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