he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Randomize
