I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
