in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize