I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
