what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
