i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
