It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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