She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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