I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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