3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
