you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
