Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
