I want to walk on stilts...naked
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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