Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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