there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
