Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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