If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
