I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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