I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
