Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
