I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
