wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize