4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
