We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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