you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
