you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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