Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
