The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
