If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I need moral support for this bender
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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