Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
