just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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