Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
