I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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