That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
