That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
