I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
