i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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