oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
