You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
