She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
