just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I need water and some morals
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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