there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
