so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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