I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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