the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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